Ten Tiny Breaths  - K.A. Tucker

 First NetGalley book I read. Made it to page 37. It put me behind schedule. I have to write a review.

 Let's be honest here. I knew exactly what I was getting into. New Adult. Romance. Bad reviews. "Female Travis Maddox". *shudders*

 If only I had followed that line of thought, I wouldn't be here writing this instead of reading a (hopefully) better approved book or one from the way too many novels I have bought and are sitting sadly unread on my desk.

 But I requested it knowing I'd probably hate it more than Voldemort hated muggles, or Khanh hates 90% of the books she reads (equal intensity in both cases, really). So now I must face the consequences, and review the three worst days of 2014—which, along with my exams, led to my first reading slump of 2014.

 Let me start by saying that I never officially DNF books. I always put them on hold or leave them for months on my currently reading shelf. I don't remember the last time I didn't have at least 6 or 7 books there, and I was actually reading just two of them. If we were to get psychological and analyze it, you could say I don't like failure. Which is absolutely true. It is also known by close friends and family that I can have a short attention span. I'm reading something and loving it, but I stop to go to sleep because my eyes are closing and I have to wake up for school in 2 hours. Next day feels like a different year, and suddenly I just need to read that little, shiny book someone mentioned and I looked up. And I do it because, no matter how hipster it sounds, you only live once and there's no time for choosing to do things that aren't going to make you the happiest you can be.

 Back to the actual point, I technically don't give up on books once I'm past the fifth page. But reading a book for review with a limited amount of time does put some pressure on you. If this had been a bought book, I'd have given up by page five, actually. Since it was a galley, I pushed myself. For three days. Over 20 different times I tried reading this. As I said before, I got to page 37.

 I swear, I SWEAR I just couldn't go forward. It felt so fake. I did not believe one word. I understand why some people were completely pissed off by Kacey herself, but most of the time I just couldn't bring myself to get past the bad writing—the fanfic-like thoughts and dialogue. Of course, this doesn't mean I didn't have some moments of clarity when I wanted to choke this horrible main character in her own offensive use of saliva.

 There's not much I can say about the plot or the side characters because I didn't get to know it or them enough to form a proper and justified opinion. Kacey took over my whole attention. To summarize, I hated her. It's been a long time since I hated a character with such a burning passion. I hated how strong she thought she was, how much she tried to convince me of it when the only thing I saw was that she had anger management issues and was pretty aggressive. I hated how witty she thought she was, when all I read were lame and offensive sarcastic remarks. I hated how she slut-shamed and judged with no reason, especially when she had done and kept doing way worse things. And I didn't get to actually know the love interest, but the way she reacted to him made me hate her even more.

 Picture this. Kacey has just moved to a new shitty apartment to run away from her problems instead of confronting them. She is doing laundry, she drops a coin and kneels down to pick it up. She's startled when a guy she didn't hear entering the sharedlaundry room asks her if there are any free machines, and she thinks he's there to personally attack her.

Who sneaks up on a female in an underground laundry room, other than a psycho or a rapist? Which maybe he is. Maybe I'm supposed to be quivering in my sandals right now. But I'm not. I don't scare easily and, frankly, I'm too damn annoyed right now to be anything else. Let him try to attack me. He'll be in for the shock of a lifetime.

 Ok, let's pretend he did something wrong or weird. Let's pretend he can't be one of your neighbors rightfully wanting to do their own laundry. You toughen up. You're prepared to use your self-acclaimed incredible, unusual, god-like physical strenght and reflexes. You stand up to face this creepy asshole and give him a piece of your mind. You knock the bottle of detergent, your grace and sixth sense of awareness of all things failing you for the first time in years. This horrible, horrible guy crouches to supposedly help you, which is actually so he can get in a perfect position to rape and kill you. You adjust your position so you can "dislocate his joint with a kick and make him crumple in agony", just like you'd learned in your sparring sessions. You look at him, completely prepared for whatever bad thing he wants to do, and—

The air leaves my lungs in a swoosh, and I'm left staring at a set of deep dimples and the bluest eyes I've ever seen—cobalt rings with light blue on the inside. I squint. Do they have turquoise flecks inside them? Yes! My God! The blue floors, the rusty old machines, the walls, everything around me vanishes under the weight of his gaze as it strips me of my protective bitch coat, yanking it clean off my body, leaving me bare and vulnerable in seconds.
"We can soak it up with this. I needed detergent anyway," he says with an amused boyish grin as he drags his sheet around to clean up the spilled liquid.
"Wait you don't have to..." My voice fades, the weakness in it nauseating me. Suddenly I'm feeling all kinds of wrong for labeling him creepy. He can't be a creep. He's too beautiful and too nice.

 I understand fangirls now. This is how it feels WHEN YOU JUST CAN'T.

 Anyway, the only reason why I read another 6% after that was because I liked Livie, but it's just not worth it. And the way the author writes, I'm not even giving her story a try, either.

 So, that was my experience with my very first NetGalley book. I hope the ones to come are better. Much better.